Lots of personal development books tell us to replace negative thoughts, whatever they may be, with positive ones. I don't agree with this simplistic approach.

Jennifer was made redundant. "What a great opportunity," everyone cried. And she agreed. She left the company with her redundancy package and set about looking for another job - all the while trying to put on a smiley face. She found another job but developed migraines and digestive problems. When her GP asked her if everything was OK she burst into tears. To her surprise she started talking about feeling rejected by her former company. It's possible that by repressing her negative emotions, Jennifer's health suffered.

If you take a glib motivational approach with your clients and always 'correct' their negative thinking, you risk making them wrong. You are setting them up for a failure. In my view optimistic positive thoughts are brilliant, but to be fully human we must not deny negative emotions or experiences. It all matters. Loss and pain are ubiquitous and experiencing the whole range of emotions contributes to our growth and development as complete rounded human beings.

If you have a negative thought and you repeatedly override it with a positive thought, this doesn't change anything. The brain doesn't work like that. Repeating "I am healthy and happy" (if you are not) only encourages the gremlin voice to argue "No your'e not!" Positive thinking encourages you to quickly look for the positive in every situation "to put on a brave face". I believe it is preferable to acknowledge the hurt or the problem, or to take some time to grieve for loss, to learn from the experience and to move on when you are ready. Blocking out all problems or bad news, whether a friend's or the war in Iraq, means disengaging from the world around you, living in a bubble of false security.

Positive thinking in my view is anti-analytical. We can't banish our own or the world' s problems with a positive gloss. This represents denial - like living in a false paradise. I believe that real lasting personal growth comes from developing new and independent thinking skills which enhance our emotional literacy. Think about the meaning of wisdom. A truly wise person is someone who has depth and who speaks the truth, not someone who always looks on the bright side.

Marianne Craig PCC
International Coach Federation Professional Certified Coach